Red Clay Fairytales

Take Action Cap'n!

July 18, 2012
Here goes...
If the first item on your list is not to clean the house...then scooch it in there at the top. Why? Because a clean house brings peace and clear thinking, my love.

Don't panic. I did not say to deep clean the house.

1. Music and a trash bag. Crank it up and throw out everything that makes you unhappy or sick (objects, my love-not people) BTW-children can be motivated by making this a game...How many things can you throw away in 5 min? Just keep it short on time and make everyone win...Sally wins for most broken crayons...Jim for most candy wrappers. Everyone gets to stay up 10 extra minutes.  Whooohooo, Yippie Skip---wait, what did you say? I thought I heard you say your kids don't have regular bedtimes.  Ummm, Yeah...that is not going to work. See Turning boys post on Stacking the Deck if you need to know how to start a regular bed time. If you need someone to tell you why or if you feel that it puts too many limits on your children then, bless your heart, we have a lot more work to do than I thought. How about I won't rant and rave about why and you just start bed times today? After one month, if you are not happier and they are not as cranky then call me crazy and go back to self inflected brain damage. Oh, I am serious. Kids without sleep and mommies without rest makes as much sense as trying milk a bull. I mean, are you touring Hell on purpose? sorry. I did say I would not rant.
2. Go to the room where a guest will first go to (let's pretend it is the living room) and clean it up as if they were five minutes out. I am not talking about dusting unless that is the thing you notice first. Here is how you clean it fast... Take a couple of baskets, a rag and spray cleaner and whatever you need to clean the floor. Get all the clothes and shoes in a basket and move it to the next room. Take all the dishes to the sink, pick up any more you see on the way. Put all the toys in a basket and move it to the next room. Sweep or get the Hoover going and then clean smudges off of windows or furniture. Fluff the pillows, light a candle and throw all the remotes in a drawer.
3. Move on to the next room a guest would see (let's say it's the kitchen) Start as far from the sink as possible and begin cleaning the table and counters by moving all dishes to the sink (remember that we already got rid of all the know) and spray the counters as you go. Now, go back and wipe everything down. Don't worry about crumbs falling on the floor. You are going to sweep in just a couple of minutes. Go load all you can in the dishwasher and start it. Sweep the floor and just spray the big spots on the floor for now. While those soak finish any dishes that didn't fit in the dishwasher. Now wipe up those spots and light a candle. Take out some type of meat for dinner. Are you out of tea? Might need to make some in minute but go on to step four.
4. Make your bed really quick and then head to the bathroom...because that imaginary guest may need to go and what if they go past your bed to get there? If you made your bed when you got practice-the whole house looks better with just making the bed...then just spray down the sink and the throne, pick up any towels or still have the basket right? You really are catching on...Okay, clean the mirror and then the sink and then the toilet then the floor. Pull the shower curtain for now and keep moving to your bedroom. Same process. Don't forget to do the laundry you collected in the basket.
5. Just pull the doors to in the children's rooms. We will climb that tree another day.
6. Go out to the driveway...walk up to your house. Did you notice how you felt? If there is trash in the yard or a dog food bowl covered with flies, old mold covered toys or anything else that doesn't look like you are happy to live in your home, I'll bet you a ripe fig that you kind of felt crappy. Sooo, next step...clean up the yard but start with just what a guest would see. Don't bother saving the toys...the kids won't notice if you have never had to retrieve it in the pouring rain before now. Spend ten minutes at least and no more than twenty.

Now then, butter bean, wash your hands, freshen your makeup and grab a glass of tea. Go back over your lists and cross off anything you happen to have fixed today just by making the house ready for those rude enough not to call before they stopped by.  Oh yeah, and cross off clean the house.

We will develop the habit of quick cleaning daily as we continue to get our ducks in a row but for now...survey your kingdom and be proud. Go make some cookies with the little darlings and enjoy the rest of the day without the T.V. or the web or facebook on your phone...yeah, I know but better to live life rather than comment on it.


Skin in the Game

July 12, 2012
Well don't you look beauty-full! How do you feel? Finer than frog hair... that's what I figured. A little more clarity right? A can do attitude? Powerful, I know. So I am not one to cut to the chase but I would hate for your coffee to get cold so...
Here is the quick and dirty...
1. The quickest way out of the pit is to go to bed at a regular time (10 is good) and get up at a regular time.
2. When you get up, get dressed. We do as we dress and we gotta get to work on building a castle...So clot...
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First Things First

July 12, 2012
So you want to get your house in order. You are sick of looking around at a dirty house, sick of yelling at your kids, sick of living paycheck to paycheck and sick of the constant irritation you feel. You are worn slap out because you can't keep up with it all. Yeah, I hear ya. I get it.

 OK, First things first.

Go take a hot shower. If it is morning while you are reading this then follow the shower with getting dressed with shoes and make up. I will excuse your hair but only if you put on a ba...
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Stop the Train

July 11, 2012
I began keeping a home when I married at twenty far away from the red clay kingdom and let me tell was not a fairytale. It was a land where there was no sweet tea, grits or Blue Plate mayo. There was not a meat and three eating establishment a.n.y. w.h.e.r.e. so I had to dig deep and figure out how to feed my new husband. I had to shop for food. I look back at my time wandering around the store putting random items in my buggy and hang my head in shame. Thank goodness I've learned a ...
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